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Saturday, September 16th, 2006
7:47 am - IT LIVES??
So, yeah more than a year. Oh well. I love livejournal for keeping my account alive for this long. I'm not even going to try to update. Biggest news: Hubby & I own a house now. Still working, still in grad school, yeah. The university is trying to destroy my undergrad program because they are ignorant self-important bastards. Ask me how I really feel.

I am contemplating turning this into my knitting journal. I seem to have lost the need to journal my life when I graduated - or at least the need lost strength to the point where I'm no longer inclined to act on it more than once a year. But I have recently discovered on-line knitting communities and want to join. So this may morph into mostly knitting stuff.

I am joining SOCK WARS (this is pretty sad, I don't know how to make a link anymore - it will all come back eventually). SOCK WARS is an international game of assassin - to kill my target I must knit him/her a pair of socks and mail them before receiving a pair myself. There are nearly 800 people signed up from all over the world. Eventually one of these benign on-line communities will create world peace. And yesterday I found the AWESOMEST technique EVER for making socks. Knitty.com is one of my new favorite sites and in the new fall issue there is an article for how to knit two socks at once on one set of needles. I am very excited to try this and saddened that I found it too late to get comfortable with it in time for SOCK WARS (time is of the essence, no fancy stuff for this warrior). I tried to set up my yarn for it last night and created a horrible horrible tangle that it took me all evening to undo. Well, all evening besides losing two games of cribbage to M. and M. Today I must concentrate on assembling my true arsenal for my socks of doom.

I would really like to still be sleeping at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. But there is a dog somewhere in our neighborhood with incredible barking stamina. He's finally quiet, but then the hubby was snoring, and I could tell I wasn't going to fall back to sleep easily. So here I am, journaling before I do the finances, go to the farmers' market, and begin exploring my yarn stash to find out whether I get...er..need to go to the yarn store before Kung Fu today.

Whatever friends have kept me on their pages and read through this all, you're awesome.

current mood: groggy

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Sunday, August 21st, 2005
10:35 am - Actually Posting Again
But only because I have nothing better to do.

Started my first grad school assignment yesterday. Reaction to field trips - only one pager and only credit-no-credit and not due until Thursday. Unfortunately I decided to start it on the laptop, which for some unknown reason doesn't have Office (wtf, Pat?), so currently it's in word pad and I'm going to have to transfer to main computer to print anyhow.

So, I became an aunt July 7, with the birth of Shane Patrick O'Malley to Pat's older brother and sister-in-law. And I'm making him a layette set (booties, bonnet, sweater), a giant cross stitch birth register thing, and an even more giant-ass blanket.
And then my cousins go and have a baby August 16 (just what this family needs, more August birthdays), Hannah Elizabeth Millichamp, so I start making her a layette set too. Hi, realistic concept of time? and the fact that I start grad school in two days? No. Not at all. I begin to have the fear.

Had a hot date with the hubby last night which consisted of drinking hot chocolate with Bailey's while watching a "romantic movie." Except we don't have/didn't spend energy finding any romantic movies, so we watched about 3 DS9 episodes. Yeah, we're dorks. We know.

Going to his mom's for family lunch and to see the BABY at noon. Going to hamilton library at 2 for the Blue88 meeting. There's a group with ambition. And then probably knitting the rest of the day pretending I don't have class on Tuesday.

Seriously, though, IES will be great, a fantasic program. The only problem will be finding the balance of life and classwork that will allow me to keep what sanity I have. This may be a big problem, as I have NEVER been good at it.

Back to knitting.

P.S. I hope Becca and I can keep doing the Stitch-and-Bitch group. Noooo concept of time. I have none at all. Oh well.

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Sunday, August 14th, 2005
10:18 am - Here's someone you no longer recognize
Damn, I knew it had been a long time, but I didn't think it had been nearly a year. Wow.

So, job at Secretary's Office. Nice people, good, often boring work, but it gets me free tuition for grad school, so I complain not one bit. It's even better now Katrina is a student worker there. Much more laughter. Also the job is an eleven-month job so I get four weeks off every year. Unpaid, but it will let me go to classes during the day with out having to make up the hours.

Married, as of April 30. Loveliness.
I am an aunt as of July 7. Shane Patrick O'Malley. Adorable, hopefully I see him later today.
My brother turned sixteen Friday. He's still working on his driving hours so no lisence right away. He's looking so grown-up and is such a cool person now.
Mom got married July 3, and is almost done moving in to Curt's house. George's room kicks ass.

Grad school orientation starts tonight at 7 PM and then I'll spend the next three days on day trips to Cincy, Dayton and Columbus doing I don't yet know what. I've finished all my summer reading, which was very good and assured me that this is exactly the kind of program I want to be entering.

George's cat Mini has moved in with us, because Curt is allergic to her (but not to Mom's cat Kitty Boo, because black cats make more of the whatever-it-is-people-are-allergic-to than do other colors of cat), and she and Helen are finally starting to get along.
oh yeah, Helen is the kitty we found outside of Peabody in January when it was freezing out. She's a hellion and we love her. Mini caught a cicada on the balcony this morning, and I think she and Helen boned trying to figure out what to do with it.

So I haven't been posting because I haven't really been on line. I sit at a computer all day at work and when I come home I don't want to do so any more. But now that grad school is starting I'll probably be spending much more time on my home computer and post more frequently (which wouldn't be hard to do).

Also in the last year I became a bit of a football fan. But only because baseball ended and I needed something to watch while I knitted. Knight's Knitting (knightsknitting.yi.org) went pretty well. Made lots of stockings for people and earned a not-insubstantial amount of money for the honeymoon. Am still finishing some of the stuff ordered, but I have been distracted back to cross stitching for a while to make a small wedding sampler for Mom and a (much too) large birth sampler for Shane.

Is finally a little cooler today and supposed to rain more.
Had a bonfire get-together for Matt's birthday last night (25, we're starting to get old), which was much fun and we ended and went inside just before we got some rain.

Going to hang curtain rods and pictures today. the apartment is never done.

Perhaps I will soon re-submit my application to the lotr_addict community. They kick you off if you don't participate, which makes sense. Hopefully they let me back in. I might wait for a while and see how often I will actually be on line this semester. 5 credit hours might be a bit more than I can chew with a full-time job, still trying to go to yoga (losing weight and getting fit again woo!) and, oh yeah, spending time with my husband now and then :P


current mood: hungry

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Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
8:54 pm - As my life becomes slowly a little less liminal...
My life from the perspective of Curt Ellison:
Genevieve, you've got a house, a job, and a fiance. Western people are not supposed to be this organized!

So I start my real-person job next week, I have health insurance and a red parking pass! And I had to fill out and sign approximately 50 billion forms to get them. There were, no joke, a minimum of 25-30 forms. I may just keep this job for 30 years simply so I never have to go through filling out that many forms at once ever again! However, I have nowhere near sufficient amounts of business/office appropriate clothing. I may be lucky enough to weasel two weeks worth of outfits out of my closet/dresser. And I have to buy and wear pantyhose. Unfortunately I think some of my first paycheck will be going to buy blouses and such. So exciting. At least I can walk to work and don't have to commute 45 minutes like Pat does.

And actually I have an apartment. Into which I am not fully moved after three weeks of living here and which still has nothing hanging on the walls because I have yet to find my tool kit and therefore hammer and nails. And which needs to be vacuumed and have the floor swept. Unfortunately we have neither a vacuum nor a broom and dustpan.

This weekend we are going to Wheatland. I really hope Dad has our tickets, because if I'm supposed to have them I have no clue where they are. But that should be very fun. I hope it doesn't rain too much in Remus, MI.

I'm attending a board meeting of LMRP tomorrow morning via conference call. Which means I have to actually get up in a timely fashion, something I've been trying to avoid while I still can. I read up on some of the stuff for the meeting online and hopefully I'll have some clue what the hell's going on so I don't sound too much like a dumb/ignorant college student and at least a little like the Watershed Researcher I'm supposed to be being for these people.

Apparently I feel like complaining tonight. Well, this gets it out of my system, I suppose. It's just that kind of day.

I'm off to try to devour what is likely my last book of the summer. My last free summer. Whoa, I am in a whiny mood.

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Friday, August 27th, 2004
12:28 pm - yay
Guess who has a job offer! Guess who has a job offer!
*Chanted while hopping around the apartment trying to peel off my new pantyhose*

And I hope to get another one this weekend or Monday!

Then I have to decide what to do with my life. But for now I am enjoying it and relaxing. I'm gonna eat a popsicle, read and knit.

The woman wanting to hire me was very complimentary 8D <-- I need a much bigger smiley than that.

I'm employable! Things will work out!

current mood: excited

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Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
1:12 pm
So, don't know when I updated last, so time for a general update.

Pat and I got an apartment. He has his internship until February, and we figured that was enough time for one of us to find something permanent-ish enough to not miss rent payments, and figured that it was time to move out of the parents' houses. So we moved in this weekend and are getting all set up. The cable guy came this morning, so we have cable internet now, but we aren't going to pay for cable tv too, so we're re-learning the rabbit ears. We're kind of moving in bit by bit, well, I am kind of moving in bit by bit. Pat moved all his stuff except one or two odds and ends, but most of my shit is still in a hyper-disorganized state spread between Mom's and Dad's, and I'm supposed to be sorting it out this week, packaging stuff for storage, give away, and moving to the apartment. So that's happening. yeah. right.
It's a little one bedroom, upstairs apartment with a little kitchen and a little bathroom, three big closets and one large-ish living area we have divided into a living room, a computer room and a dining room. But the "dining table" is still surrounded by boxes and shit. We have a balcony and three plants. You should come visit. yes, you. (315 N. Campus. As soon as I get safety pins, it will be the balcony with the PACE flag).

So George's birthday was last week, Mom's birthday is tomorrow, Lou's birthday party is this weekend. I'm beginning to babysit quite a bit, which is good. Hopefully I can start making enough to cover groceries. Applying for jobs at Miami. Not much hope. Still haven't really started applying for enviro-ish jobs. Gonna volunteer for the Little Miami River Partnership. Got my instructions and everything. Now I just need to find the sheet I wrote them all down on. I think it's at Dad's. That will be super cool.

But for now I'm feeling un-productive and thus, thanks to my Prussian heritage, worthless. I'm gonna go move clothes and knit in front of the Olympics to trick myself into thinking I'm accomplishing important stuff. And avoid all contact with returning students. Because they remind me of what I'm not doing. I'm good at school; I do school well. But now I need to find something new that I like and do well, and I don't enjoy the liminality of my current situation. Being in the apartment helps that some, though.

So that was rather rambling and disorganized, but if you read regularly, I'm sure you're used to it by now. :)

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Saturday, July 17th, 2004
8:52 pm - I am on LOONGCATION!!
This is a quick post to tell people that I am going away on vacation to Lake Michigan. One must return to the home country every so often. It must be quick before Pat pulls me away.

I am sure that this vacation -- completely out of computer contact for 8 days -- will seem so VERY different to all of my avid journal readers from the rest of the summer so far. You'll just have to bear with it. I do plan on having more interaction with the world outside of Collinsville and Oxford after vacation. I will be flying into action and my real life. Never mind that that's what I said about June.

Everyone have a good week.

P.S. When you hit yourself in the thumb with a hammer while up high on a ladder (really really fucking hard) so hard that you don't even say 'fuck' but all you can think to say is 'ow'.... and a little later you start to get light-headed and see spots... Climb down off the ladder quickly. If you do not, you may faint, fall off the ladder into the ladder next to you, bringing both ladders and your (larger than average) father down on top of you onto the concrete 5 feet below. I speak from experience.

All is well, we have scrapes and bruises and Dad has a really nasty combination of both, but we were as uninjured as we could hope to be after a fall like that. Nothing broken, no 911 calls.


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Saturday, June 26th, 2004
10:22 am
What? Genevieve? There's still a Genevieve on lj? Whoa.

So yeah. Not working on Dad's house this morning b/c I am cleaning Mom's house b/c THE NOCITAS WILL BE HERE THIS AFTERNOON!! The Nocitas are my favorite family in the world. Just Jan and the kids are coming b/c Andy flew to Arizona where he's does some sort of correspondence teaching and the fam-damily is driving across the country (from Pittsburgh) to meet him and drive back making a vacaiton of it, Grand Canyon and all that southwest goodness. Maybe if I beg and offer my driving through the night and babysitting services I can stowaway in the back. And put off finding a job or doing anything "useful" for that much longer 8)

So my room is semi-clean now. Didn't bother with any of the surfaces by the floor is visible almost in its entirety. So I better go back downstairs now and help clean the rest of the house before Mom gets suspicious and discovers I am not currently helping.

Two more happy things about today: not-too-hot Sunshine and newly-made chocolate chip cookies.

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Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
1:40 am - Yeah, I have been avoiding the internet. don't really know why
How to make a genevieveangell

3 parts friendliness

1 part courage

5 parts leadership
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of lustfulness and enjoy!


Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Where the hell did that leadership stuff come from? wtf? anyhoo...

Still no e-mail. I am painting lots. and lots. Went to the ball game tonight. No #500 homer, but a great game and the Reds won. 8D

Going to Kings Island tomorrow if it isn't going to storm all day. Yeah, I took us to the game and I'm taking us to KI. Um, where do I think I'm getting this money? George accepted the job so we're doing fun vacation sort of things this week. And Pat has a job. And I am a bum. Although I made $28 for an hour and a half of babysitting Chandler Metcalf today. and $7/hour painting and goforing.

So I'm babbling and typing w/o thinking. Quite tired and going to bed soon. Watching an interview clip with Oliver and James Phelps and Matt Lewis (Weasely twins and Neville) and am distracted.
www.mugglenet.com is awesome. Awesome.

Going bed now. or soon anyhow.

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Monday, June 7th, 2004
12:29 pm - I return
So, I'm back from my roadtrip and from my cousin's graduation party.

Roadtrip was hellafun. Black Hills, amazing drive, Mt. Rushmore w/o parking (GIANT carving, why would we pay to stop and stare when we can do it just fine from a distnace?), CAVE!!!, I decided I want to be a park ranger -- preferably at a park with a cave I can explore and give tours of, Yellowstone, mountains, snow and hail while tent camping, gysers and hotsprings and fun geology oh my!, BISON lots and lots of BISON, herds of bison with at least 16 little brown furry baby bison, cyotes (sp?), lots of different kinds of deer, lots of driving and expensive gas.

We got to see Pat's family on the way back through Iowa. It turned out they had had the wrong number for their dad, so he wasn't really being a bastard about Pat's graduation. that was fun. got treated to dinner and breakfast and had a free place to sleep. They're fun people. Told them all about the wedding date.

Got home, George's graduation was good. Picnic/egg drop was good too.

(So Mom says she and Curt since last fall... um, wtf?)

Anyhoo, then another long drive to northern LP Michigan to see Aunt Shirley, Kelsey and Graham. Met K & G's two half-brothers and half-sister I had no idea existed and ate and talked to people. Her boyfriend is joingin the navy and apparently Graham wants to go to West Point when he graduates. wtf? But that's the only way to pay for college for a lot of people, so I kept my mouth shut and wished there were other ways to serve that would help people go to college. Like Civilian Conservation Corps or something. Dude, if the government would pay for my college AND I got to work in the National Parks.... sign me up.

Pleasant enough trip although Mom George and I are starting to get at each others throats a bit.

So now the summer has truly begun, George is on vacation and I am the jobless wonder. I am going to start organizing my life. Shoveling through all my stuff and giving away and organizing and whatnot. The rest of my life has started so I need to start acting like it. and finding a job.

Get organized and get a job. That's what I'm up to now.

After lunch.

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Tuesday, May 25th, 2004
2:53 am - One more thing
I distracted myself from posting about this earlier.

Winston died.

He had been getting winded more and more easily, and collapsed over last weekend, so they took him to the vet Monday and it turns out he had an enlarged heart that was pushing on his lungs and windpipe. The disease is common in boxers and even named after them, and he was nine years old. The vet said Monday weeks or months, but by Tuesday night he couldn't go four feet with out collapsing and panting because he couldn't get enough breath to walk. And he wasn't eating or drinking much at all. So they took him in an put him to sleep Wednesday morning. Neither Dad nor Lou went to work Wednesday, I think. They burried him under a new flowerbed by the lilac bush in the back and planted daisies and a scaredy-cat plant on top of him so he can still do his job of scaring away the stray cats while pushing up daisies.

Poor old guy. Smartest and most lovable ugly old sweet dog you've ever met. and playful and friendly.

I got to pretty much say good-bye on Tuesday when I was there to work on the house. Lou's kids didn't really get to say good-bye, which makes me feel bad because he was much more their dog than mine. He sure was a good dog.

Okay, to bed with me now. I had forgotten how tempting and diverting the internet can be. 8P

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1:27 am - oh yeah, the meme..
genevieveangell is a radioactive squirrel!!


From Go-Quiz.com

Maybe I eat cicadas. There are certainly enough of them in my mom's lilac bushes.

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12:49 am
So yeah, graduated.
Not been online much, just got my computer hooked up again.
So what have I been doing so far with my college education?
-- Getting paid $7/hr to scrape paint at my dad's house and do other fix-up-the-place/ we're-really-renovating-again things. Which is fun except that it happens from 7AM-noon Tues/Thurs/Sat.
-- Babysat once or twice. maybe just once. But it's always good when the parents get home and the kid screams "NO!" then explains "I don't want you to be home yet." Yeah, gonna get more calls on that one :)
-- Reading. FOR FUN!! Pat finally got me started on the "Wheel of Time" series. Was completely hooked within the first one hundred pages. I've already finished the first book (814 pages), and apparently there are nine more books (SO FAR), all of them at least that long.
-- Knitting. Finished Pat's Christmas stocking and had so much fun that I am now starting on stockings for all of his family. So lemme see, that's Jeremy and Andrea, Brian, Erin, Lori and Rick, and Kyle. Did I say 'had so much fun'? I meant 'finally went insane.'
-- Watching baseball. I love baseball.
-- Watching my little brother's school play, in my unbiased opinion he did the best acting in the whole thing, even with the relative smallness of his part. Mickey Myers did a fantastic job for getting her speaking parts one week beforehand. Also helping my little brother with his Algebra homework and playing games with him. I love George.
-- Not looking for a job.
-- Not thinking about looking for a job.
-- Not unpacking.
-- Not organizing.
-- Not cleaning my room. (Only counting the one at Mom's. My room at Dad's is a complete lost cause as it has become the overflow room for everyone and thing in the house)
-- Being nomadic. For the first week after graduation, I didn't sleep in the same place for two nights in a row. Seriously: Saturday night in Peabody, Sunday at Mom's, Monday at Dad's, Tuesday at Mom's, Wednesday at Dad's, Thursday at Pat's, Friday at Dad's, Saturday and Sunday at Mom's, Monday and Tuesday at the cabin in Hueston Woods with a view of the lake that Pat rented for a 'weekend' as present to me, then finally Wednesday through Sunday nights at Dad's, and now back at Mom's. I always hated the back and forth and parts of me can't wait for it to be over and to have a place, one place, that is mine and where I stay and where all my stuff is and I stand some remote chance of actually knowing where the things I need are. The rest of me is too damn scared to think about that because it means moving away from home, and probably out of Oxford and getting a job. I've been realizing how much I love my little town. I randomly run into people I've known forever and exchange a few nice words and go on about our days knowing we'll run into each other again. I like little communities, dammit. .... Okay, next topic.
-- Not going on the road trip. The car is still not fixed, and it's probly gonna cost more than the woman's insurance thinks it needs to pay, and we've had the rental car forever, and the parts keep being late, and so many little annoying things. We probably could have gone on a trip and been back by now if we had known it would have taken this long. I've been doing a pretty good job of not letting it bother me, but Pat has not, and I haven't been doing as good a job of not letting him and his loud frustration bother me. But anyhow. I'm just relaxing and letting myself enjoy being here and doing the simple things I enjoy and am officially not worrying about the rest of my life before a week into June, and hopefully this good attitude will help things work out for the best.

--Also celebrated Dad's birthday -- The third annual 50th birthday party was a great dinner at the Goldey's also with the Garrishores. All kinds of fun. And I got him a kick-ass present if I do say so myself. I'm just rather proud of it because I had the idea without any prompting and knew it was something he would love.

I want to do the Oxford Fun Hunt but I don't know if I can get a team together. I'd need 6 people total, although we could do it with 5. Pat and I will do it so we only need 3 or 4 more people. Mom and Dad both love the Fun Hunt, but can't of course be on the same team, and I don't know if Micah is still interested, I don't think Sue is and who knows about Lori. I'll have to ask them all really soon. But if you've read this far, you obviously like me enough to not have skimmed and run away, so if you're interested in solving odd puzzles and driving around in a van or station wagon with a bunch of kooky people to places in Oxford, finding funky little plaques and having code words and team names and the such like, going to party with free food and beverages afterward, and potentially winning fun and exciting prizes and you are going to be in the greater Oxford area and available for the evening of Saturday June 19, please do let me know.

I think I'll end this post with that wonderful run-on sentence and get to bed. If I can find the bed beneath the pillows and clothes and things that have accumulated on it since the last time I slept here.

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Sunday, May 9th, 2004
5:19 pm - My last post from a dorm room
No time to write a long post. just had to write a last one. I've gotta go cry more now. And try to be out in time to go to Pat's party, since his family's almost on speaking terms with me.

current mood: crying again/still

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2:47 am
Went to the party on Collins. good fun lots of people I know, knew or kind of know. Talking..yeah. good. I was doing well, too. Hadn't cried in several hours. When I said goodnight to Sydney and closed my door it hit me again that this is the last night I'll spend in Peabody Hall and off I went again.

and here I was thinking I had run out of tears for the night.

current mood: crying myself to sleep

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Saturday, May 8th, 2004
10:20 pm - First post as a college graduate

I'm not leaving. They can't make me. I just won't.

I've spent so long recovering from the ceremony that now I have to go get ready to see Rocky horror at the Esquire with Randy & co.

meeting Heather's family
getting a hug from the Provost at the Honors ceremony this morning
being able to give Heather's whole family special reserved seating tickets.
Eric's party with lunch, ice cream cake, and cute little cousins
walking to big ceremony
NEARLY having my hat blown off many many times
having my hat blown off but caught and returned by the archies behind us.
The 22 Western kids being SO loud and great
Madame Jehan (?) Sedat speaking
Garland talked too long
waving at families
dinner at Mom's, Randy came too
having to change between the group picture and the ceremony
having to go inside to get my ross intro from Mom because we both forgot before
(good thing I did b/c she was sitting in the choir loft and it would've been very bad without the paper and Ross deserves a good intro)
I can't even talk about the ceremony. Starting to cry again. It was fantastic. It was the best it could have been. It was perfect for us. I LOVE WESTERN. I have to stop now.

HUGS from SOO many people. I love all these people so much.

Taking flowers.
Climbing my tree.

Now I really have to stop so I can stop crying and get dressed to go officially lose my Rocky Horror virginity.

current mood: sobbing

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Thursday, May 6th, 2004
6:58 pm
No food for you! by which I mean me.

It is so goddamn gorgeous outside. I just want to roll around in it and wrap myself up in Western and hide way down in the middle so they can't find me to make me leave.

I'm tired and sick and hungry and menstruating and I still have a final to write and it could NOT be a more beautiful day. And I don't have any film to take pictures.

I won't make it through the graduation ceremony. I probably shouldn't wear the nice dress I want to wear, because I'll just get it all messy from crying so much. I have the job of introducing Ross -- a.k.a. the Messiah -- and I don't know if I'll be able to speak. I don't wanna stand next to Eric and Randy anymore. I wanna stand amongst strangers and be nameles like at the big ceremony so that it won't mean anything and won't be painful. Then again, maybe the only way I'll be able to make it is to have friends on either side to hold me up and to not be bothered too much by my sobbing.

At least when we sing it won't matter that I can't carry a tune, because I won't be able to make any noise anyhow.

God, my head hurts.

And I want my car back!

current mood: crushed

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6:13 pm - the things I learn on 97X
Newport = the birthplace of civilization.

I'm gonna miss this radio station.

current mood: hungry

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Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
8:16 pm
So much for only a few people seeing me sobbing. I'm already breaking down in front of random people on the boys' floor. I'm going to bed.

current mood: :'-(

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6:48 pm

I hope I can keep enough dignity to not have to be dragged bodily out of Peabody on Sundsy. It'll be a close thing.
I'm glad not a lot of people will be around by then. Fewer people to hear/see me sobbing uncontrollably. Just while writing this entry I've cried so hard I was nearly sick twice.

....aaaand was sick. only a little.

Part of this is having one of my wicked colds, part of it is having next to no sleep, but mostly it's just that I love this place and it means so much to me.

I don't want to leave. I'm not done yet.

current mood: distraught

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